Low anxiety
The art of avoiding conflict
Silence is golden
The spoken word
The best policy
What is truth?
An average Swede
Bringing up children
Alone together

WHAT ARE SWEDES LIKE?

The Four S's
Some people think of Sweden as the four Ss: Socialism, Suicide, Spirits and Sex. The image is so powerful that even many Swedes believe in it - even though it's completely inaccurate.
For many years, Sweden had a labor government and business was rigidly regulated. There always was less state ownership of business than in most industrial countries. It's now below 5%, compared to 33 % in France and almost 40% in Italy. The welfare services provided in Sweden are no more extensive than those of other European nations. But the socialist label sticks.
Sweden has the highest suicide rate in the world. In the early 1950s, the American President Dwight D. Eisenhower said so in a speech, based on an inaccurate briefing, and ever since many have accepted it as fact. But statistics compiled for the major countries show that Sweden is in fourteenth place, well behind most industrialized countries. (Hungary is the undisputed leader).
Sweden ranks as 28th in alcohol consumption among those nations that keep statistics. Swedes drink less than people in all industrialized countries except Norway. The French and Germans consume more than twice as much alcohol as the Swedes, the Americans and British about 50 percent more.
Then what about sex? In Germany, Schwedenfilm means a pornographic movie. In the US, advertising copywriters cannot resist the lure of Swedish blondes as a metaphor for sexual abandon. Swedes talk about sexuality openly, without the shame, guilt or religious self-consciousness that so often clouds the discussion in other countries. They feel there's nothing of which to be ashamed. But many foreigners misinterpret what that openness means. In their sexual behavior Swedes are almost puritanical compared to people from the continent. Foreigners who arrive expecting sexual adventures usually leave sadly disappointed.

Low anxiety
Are Swedes really as cold as they appear? Their emotions probably don't differ much from those of other people, but as a matter of cultural form Swedes don't reveal their emotions as often and overtly as people from other cultures. Child rearing stresses the importance of regaining control over one's feelings. Displaying emotions, especially in a noisy manner, has a very low status among Swedes.

The art of avoiding conflicts
The tranquillity that reigns when Swedes meet often perplexes foreigners. And Swedes find people from most other cultures noisy, disorderly and troublesome, a word with a strongly negative connotation. Their culture requires them to speak softly, without strong emotion and never behave aggressively, at least not in public. All discussions should take place in an atmosphere of harmony and accord. The word aggressive has a positive meaning in many cultures. In Sweden , it's negative.
Finding a middle ground is part of this. Swedes try to reach a consensus that is a compromise that can satisfy all parties involved. The word lagom, used very frequently in everyday speech, expresses the positive attitude toward moderation and compromise that exists in Sweden. It means just right, not too little but not too much.

Silence is golden
Interrupting other people is considered rude. Swedes wait politely until the other person has finished speaking. Their answers are typically short and they remain quiet if they feel they have nothing important to say, In groups Swedes usually talk one by one.

The spoken word
Higher education doesn't stress verbal presentation and rhetoric. This contrasts with the tradition in most other countries, where eloquence is highly valued and students are encouraged to develop long circumstantial analyses of subjects. Swedes see this as verbosity and pomposity. They believe that as long as you have something to say, it doesn't matter much how you say it.

The best policy
Swedes think honesty is important, and they hold a stereotype of themselves as honest. It's not just stealing, lying, pretending or giving false impressions that Swedes consider bad behavior. They also dislike exaggeration. When describing something, they keep the account on the low side. They try to see both sides of the issue, carefully pointing out the weaknesses with the strengths.

What is truth?
Swedes often interpret the behavior of people from other countries as deceit of hypocrisy. But other cultures are no less honest. They simply draw the line in different places. Truth and honesty are not absolute values. They are products of culture. What is true in one culture may be false in the next.
Naked candor in many places isn't as high a priority as other values, such as courtesy, sensitivity to feelings, the emotional quality to interaction, the maintenance of harmony, loyalty to family, conformance with tradition and form.
Many foreigners see the Swedish candor as naive and blue-eyed; a doctrinaire woodenness, an inability to understand what real life is about. It may appear to them as if Swedes thought they could change reality by sticking to principles.

An Average Swede
While people in many countries would never admit that they are ordinary people, Swedes often describe themselves as »en vanlig Svensson«, an average Swede. Swedes have little need to appear to be prominent in one way or another. On the contrary, they try to lie low, not say too much and, above all not show off. The cultural norm dictates that people should be unpretentious and unobtrusive. Boasting is never acceptable. To be but not to be seen, is a fitting motto for a Swede.

Bringing up children
Child rearing in Sweden stresses independence. Obedience isn't the goal. The very word carries an unpleasant connotation of the slavish subservience that Swedes abhor. Parents encourage children not to follow rules indiscriminately, but to question and scrutinize them critically. Swedes feel that even small children have a right to their own opinions, preferences and behavior.
Swedes don't beat their children. This would violate their rights as individuals - and it would also be illegal. By Swedish law, adults including parents and teachers, can receive stiff sentences for physically reprimanding a child.

Alone together
As long as it is not permanent or forced upon them, most Swedes not only tolerate but even enjoy being by themselves. Swedes take it for granted that other people share their preference for privacy, and they try to respect this. They don't thrust themselves on others. They don't ask personal questions. They don't intrude or disturb. They turn down the stereo to avoid annoying the neighbors. On the beach or in the park, they select a spot at a safe distance from other people. If they can, they choose a house that lies isolated from others. The ideal is to live in peace and to be left in peace.